One of the reasons I have experienced stressful times during Christmas is because of the unrealistic expectations I place on myself. Sadly, I tend to be a frustrated perfectionist. Borrowing a line from Jane Eyre, "I had imagined something and was quite powerless to realize."
I imagine clever photo shoots of my adorable family. Christmas cards enhanced by a 'magazine cover quality' photo sent to ALL family members and dear friends. An enclosed letter of Christmas greeting and update from our family as an extra gesture of love.
In reality, I arranged for the photo shoot last year. I was so pleased to have an amazing photographer look here for amazing photographer who took great pictures and prepared beautiful Christmas cards for us.
In reality, the cards did not get sent. This was due in part to my inability to decide who to send the cards to (since I didn't order enough for ALL of our family AND dear friends) and compounded by the fact that I couldn't remember where my address book was currently being stored.
But my failure became an unexpected stress reliever for this Christmas because I saw it as an opportunity to send last year's
cards this year. No new photo shoot necessary.
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My awesome family.
I imagine time for pleasant and leisurely shopping for presents and groceries.
And perfect presents in beautifully wrapped packages with bows and curly ribbons, preferably purchased and wrapped at least a week before Christmas.
In reality, the presents I gave this year were very acceptable and the shopping was done with great delight. I kept it simple and set a few limits on myself that allowed me to resist the nagging desire to give gifts to every person in my extended family, circle of friends, church family and neighborhood.
My children will probably remember this Christmas as the year Mom wrapped the presents and put them under the tree, two at a time, on Christmas morning while everyone waited to open presents.
It's true. I wasn't ready. The presents weren't wrapped. So my Christmas morning wrapping session was quick and included no pretty bows or curly ribbons.
My sweet family didn't seem to mind and I chose not to allow the situation to cause me stress. Fortunately, and I praise God for this big time, I was able to keep things in proper perspective and enjoy the morning. Maybe next year I'll be able to do the fancy wrapping that I've always imagined.
In, reality, I did my grocery shopping on the morning of Christmas Eve.
While doing this, I saw how seriously some people take their Christmas Eve grocery shopping and how stress behind a grocery cart can cause their behavior to become a bit ugly.
Fortunately, my daughter and I escaped unscathed with our groceries. I was delighted to find out later that we had only forgotten a few things. We bought one package of spinach instead of two, two packages of cream cheese instead of three and totally forgot to buy butter.
I imagine special meals for Christmas Eve and Christmas day. Baked goods for us and lots of goodies packaged up to give away as gifts to all the people we love and appreciate.
In reality, our Christmas Eve and Christmas Day meals were delicious. This year I simplified things greatly. And it was okay. Everyone seemed happy with the food and nobody complained that we were missing anything.
My daughter, Sera, stepped up and helped with the cooking. She contributed a cheesecake, a pumpkin pie, a batch of sugar cookies and made spinach quiche for breakfast.
My plan was to prepare chili sometime prior to the Christmas Eve service so that it would be ready when we got home. This.just.didn't.happen.
I accepted the fact that there wasn't going to be time before church
and chose to let it go. Once we got home I was able to put a pot of chili together in no time at all and not one person complained about it not being ready as soon as we got home. Apparently, this has been an unnecessary expectation of my own making.
On Christmas morning, after we opened gifts, I began preparing our Christmas breakfast (which was now becoming a Christmas brunch). The menu was the spinach quiche my daughter made, some toast cups with eggs, turkey bacon and fresh fruit.
While brunch was being prepared, I remembered that I had forgotten something important that I was going to do as soon as I got up. (but when I got up I remembered that I still needed to wrap presents) So my sweet husband helped me by putting the roast and sweet potatoes in the crock pot. This would be for our dinner later in the day.
In the afternoon I made a bowl of cole slaw (something my husband had requested), a dish of corn casserole and my daughter made the pumpkin pie.
After dinner, my daughter came and asked me if the cole slaw in the refrigerator was supposed to have been for dinner. Why yes! It was! This now became a fresh and ready dish for lunch the day AFTER Christmas.
I imagine clothing that looks Christmassy for every person in my family and new Christmas pajamas for us to wear on Christmas Eve.
In reality, I kind of gave up on this. I didn't really have time to think too much about what everyone was going to wear for any of our Christmas functions. I think we did okay without new pajamas this year ... and since no one went to bed naked ... we're good.
I imagine a house that's clean and smells like Christmas. Christmas programs and parties attended and plenty of time left to hang out with my family and watch movies together or play games.
In reality, my husband volunteered to help me with some clean up around the house. So the Saturday afternoon before Christmas my sweet hubby and I worked together all afternoon. (May I add, that was about the most romantic thing ever. We were working and we were productive, but most of all we were together. It was a great day.) While we were cleaning, I came across some candles from last year and my daughter lit them ... all of them. Our goal was obviously not a particularly lovely display of lit candles, but we had fun and they did help the house smell like Christmas.
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There were several things about our Christmas that were less than perfect. My desire to make peanut brittle to give away as gifts never happened. We didn't do our traditional family shopping trip on Christmas Eve. Two of our children weren't with us for Christmas Eve and one wasn't with us for Christmas. The really cool gift I had planned to buy for my husband didn't get purchased. Instead he got a tie and a bag of jelly beans. But I think he REALLY liked the jelly beans. And the Christmas cards from last year that I thought would be our cards for this year .... they are still in my closet.
Earlier in the year, my mom had mentioned that she really liked a particular perfume but that it was very expensive. I found a knock-off brand of that fragrance at a local drug store so I bought it for her. Because I wanted to make sure it smelled nicely and not like cheap perfume, I decided to try it myself first. (by the way, it smelled really great!) That was about four weeks before I saw her for Christmas... so, there was a certain amount missing from the bottle. (tacky, I know) I didn't get the perfume wrapped ... but she gave me something in a nice gift bag, so I used the same bag for her perfume. (really ... she didn't seem to mind.) (note to self: next year give her an unused bottle of the real perfume wrapped in beautiful paper with a pretty bow and curly ribbon.)
But there were many things about our Christmas that were perfectly wonderful. One of the wonderful things is that I was able to make it through the month without being overcome by stress. I am finally learning to let go of the notion that I can orchestrate a perfect Christmas. And I'm delighting in the reality of truly enjoying how our family celebrates the birth of our Lord Jesus.
This is a favorite post. I recently heard of a local young pastor, his wife and two young children had Little Ceasar's for Christmas Eve. Love the simplicity. ...."truly enjoying the birth of our Savior".......a very powerful set of words.
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